Mom sends her 15-year-old daughter to live with her 23-year-old sister and her two toddlers in a different state, and the teenager demands to be homeschooled so she won't have to change schools

Author image for Giuliana Tiscioni
Giuliana Tiscioni • Writer
Nov 9, 2026 5:15 PM EST

A mother wants to save up for a house, so she chooses not to renew her lease, live in her car, and send her 15-year-old daughter to live with her sister in a different state. The teenager wants to be homeschooled, which would cause problems in her sister's daily life, since she has twin toddlers. 

When did we decide that it was okay for parents to actively choose not to take responsibility for their children and have the older siblings be substitute parents? 

It seems like it's a new fashion for parents to neglect their children and leave them to the care of their older siblings. It's not the first time I've seen it, and I'm betting it won't be the last. The worst part is when they expect teenagers to take care of the younger children, but it's equally wrong to let a child, even if they are an adult, handle parenting issues regarding their teenage siblings. 

The parenting responsibility belongs to the parents; nobody else. Not the siblings, not the aunts and uncles, not the grandparents. That's what my parents taught me and what I learned. One thing is babysitting from time to time for a family member, and a very different one is leaving your children for someone else to raise them. 

The woman from this story apparently has no issue abandoning her responsibilities as a mother and leaving the burden to her 23-year-old daughter, who, by the way, is also a mother to two young children and has her own problems to worry about. 

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  • Am I wrong for refusing to oversee my little sister’s homeschooling while she lives with me for a year?

    Cheezburger Image 10675568384
    via Curated Lifestyle For Unsplash+

    The mother and her teenage daughter. 

    Picture does not depict real parties.

  • I'm 23 and have twin toddlers. My mom didn't renew her lease and has arranged for my little sister to come live with me for a whole year.
    via DirectionWest3036
  • The agreement was that I would give my sister a stable place to stay and she would attend school here. I love her and want her here, but even
    via DirectionWest3036
  • that arrangement comes with a lot of responsibility, like school meetings and handling everyday things a parent normally would.
    via DirectionWest3036
  • Now my sister wants to be homeschooled because she doesn't want to start at a new school. She says she can use an independent online program. and that I would "only" have to
    via DirectionWest3036
  • make sure she gets her work done. I understand that moving states and starting over is a lot for her, but supervising her education is also a lot to ask of me.
    via DirectionWest3036

  • From the very start, this is a recipe for disaster. Teenagers are not known around the globe for being the most responsible and self-managed people out there, and the responsibility to make sure the girl is actually studying will fall directly on her sister. 

    Siblings don't really have the responsibility, or even the moral authority, to raise their siblings, and in this case, if she told her sister she has to do her homework, the girl might as well respond, ‘You can’t tell me what to do; you're not my mother.' And guess what? She would be right. Her mother should be there to make sure she completes her schooling, not to throw the responsibility at the older sister. 

    This would raise a whole series of complicated issues, not only regarding schooling, but regarding all aspects of the younger sister's life. She's a minor, and as such, she needs a legal guardian. What would happen if she got in trouble? Or if she needed a doctor? Who would take responsibility for that, and how would it affect them? 

    There's a reason why children need to live with their parents, and if they don't, it's usually because of a bigger issue. In this case, if the girl is going to live with her sister, it's in both of their best interests to do everything by the book and avoid larger problems down the road. 

  • I don't know how she would manage independent work, and I'm concerned about what happens if she falls behind or needs help. I already have two young children to care for, and I told her this isn't something I agreed to take on.
    via DirectionWest3036
  • Cheezburger Image 10675568640
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    Homeschooled girl.

    Model for explanatory purposes only.  

  • My mom is actually considering it, which is frustrating because I've already said I'm not willing to handle that responsibility. I feel like if my sister doesn't
    via DirectionWest3036
  • want to move and attend school here, my mom needs to explore finding a place where they can stay together.
    via DirectionWest3036
  • I want my sister to have stability, but I also have limits. Am I being unfair by saying she can live with me under our original plan, but I won't take responsibility for homeschooling?
    via DirectionWest3036
  • Cheezburger Image 10675568896
    via Curated Lifestyle For Unsplash+

    The young woman getting worried about her sister. 

    Model representation. 

  • firefly232

    I think you should insist she goes to school.  You have two toddlers, they will be disruptive to someone who is homeschooling.  How old is she?

    DirectionWest3036

    She’s 15

  • writierthanyou

    Let mom know she needs to make other arrangements if she wants your sister homeschooling.

    Why is she going to be living with you vs. your mother.?

    DirectionWest3036

    My mom decided to not renew her lease so she could “save for a new house”

    kindofanasshole17

    Ok. And where is your mom going to live? And why is your sister not going there with her?

    DirectionWest3036

    In her car I think that’s what she’s telling me and my other siblings

  • Even_Ad8375

    Face that your sister is gonna be with you until she’s at least 18. Shipping her off to live with you for “a year “while she lives in a car is not responsible parenting she will not resume her parenting role. Send her to high school. She will be busy active make new friends and it might be the best thing that’s ever happened to her to be away from her mother


  • concretism

    At the very least, this presents a major decision to make before your sister moves in. Will you be the parent, or will your mother parent from afar?

    Housing and running the day-to-day for your sister without the ability to make parenting decisions sounds awful and sets everyone up to fail. Your mother considering anything, let alone whether you will homeschool, without your direct input should be off the table.

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family drama house mother teenagers parenting family sister daughter Reddit apartment moving out siblings
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